Relationship tips?

Hey everybody, sorry for the lack of posts. I've just started work, prelims just ended and my piano exam is coming up so I am really exhausted /: Anyway, do not judge the title of this post. Huge disclaimer: I am not saying that I am excellent at relationships. I am still learning, but I believe that there are changes in me that I have noticed comparing how I was in my previous relationship and how I am now.

At a beginning of a relationship, every couple will have this phase where they want to spend every single waking moment with their other half aka "Honeymoon Period." That is fine, completely normal. What happens after is the difficult part.

There will be a time when you want to have some time to hang out with your friends without any of you bringing your partners along. However, because you have spent about a few months spending everyday with your partner, you suddenly feel overwhelmed when they ask "can I tag along?" Note that they are not "clingy", they are just used to tagging along. Generally, (but of course with exceptions), girls will be the one that immediately feel insecure when their boyfriends say, "No la it's just us guys and we will probably hang out till really late, so you just sleep first ok?" It instantly leads to "shit, he meeting some girl." NO! Don't jump to that conclusion. Guys, you are not escaping from this because I know of some guys who react the same way.

First of all, WHERE IS THE TRUST? Are you sure you are ready for any form of commitment? I mean, if you really trust him/her, just let them have time with their friends. I was out with a girl friend and we both agreed that sometimes girls will have their own things to gossip/chat about and so do guys. Yet these topics that are discussed are usually unable to be expressed when our partners are around. It is COMPLETELY normal. Everybody needs their me time, girl time and guy time. It just this thing called "Space". Without this space and some air to breathe, nobody will ever want to be in a relationship. They will just go to clubs and probably have a list of girls/guys for booty call.

Sometimes when my boy stays over for the night, his friend who is my neighbour would ask him out for supper. Although staying over at my place means to spend time with me, I just passed him my house keys and just let him go have supper and a good catch up session with his mate without me sitting there blocking the flow of the many topic they could be discussing. Not just supper, I even let him hang with 2 other guy friends and they went to Wine Bar for some drinks. Which brings me to my second point.

2: You will honestly feel good after giving each other that space. If your partner lets you have a day away from him/her to hang out with your friends, you will go out feeling "he/she is so understanding." You will know that you had made a good choice to commit to a relationship with such a partner. You will also feel good if you are the one allowing him/her to go out with their friends. You give your partner the impression that you trust them and you understand that these are the people your partner grew up with and they have loads to catch up. You also leave a good impression on your partner's friends. They will be saying "your girl/boy so nice, give you space to hang out with us. You are a lucky man/woman." Honestly.

3. You need to have separate group of friends. Yes you can bring your partner into your clique and be a huge clique, but you still need to have the "his friends" and "her friends" group. Being in a hugeeee group of friends can affect friendship. Happened to me and I know. I lost an ENTIRE group of friends because of a breakup. Stupid. Your separate groups of friends allow you to find this space to prevent the feeling of being suffocated by the commitment. You will each have a group of friends to call out without the need of always bringing a partner. After all, you met this group of friends when you were all single, so you need to have that fun time once in a while.

I know this aren't exactly fantastic tips, but they are little things I have noticed about how I have grown since my last horrible relationship and it has made me work towards being a better girlfriend. Not only that, it also made me realize a relationship is about giving and taking. There cannot be only one side giving in all the time because it will lead to exhaustion of the other party, and hence straining the relationship. I hope these tips can give you a little nudge to reflect upon your relationship and work hand-in-hand with your partner to keep it going strong (:

Lotsa love,
Carmen Sarah

FML.

Helllooooo... Today I am gonna post a very sad post because I am very sad..

So anyway, Boyfriend is still away in Brunei and I am missing him fucking bad. and I failed my TP test. AND I AM VERY ANGRY AND UPSET AND I WANNA CRY COS BBDC IS PRACTICALLY SUCKING ALL MY MONEY! RAH!

ok rant done.

Lotsa love,
Carmen Sarah

Enough with the dramas!

One thing I realized from my previous relationship with R was that I always blamed everybody else but not the person at fault, which everybody knew was him. I blamed every single one of those girls when all they simply did was fall in love(or so they thought.)

Sometimes, people forgive the ones they love so easily and yet hate people they don't know for like the rest of their lives. It's tiring. I've been through it, I got fucking tired, and I am now happy with my boyfriend. I tried to make life hell for the many girls R went for. Now 2 of them are my friends because they are honestly really nice girls but I didn't make the effort to know them. I just went "they fucking stole my guy I hate them." Basically, once you love somebody, you are blinded and you cannot judge rationally.

I am not trying to change anything here. I am just trying to bring across a point that sometimes, it isn't just one person's fault. It can be the involvement of many parties but just because you love one, he/she is forgiven easily and everybody else is added to your hate list. When that happens, you affect your mutual friends. How are they gonna invite people to their birthday parties when there are so many subgroups? Hold 10 different parties? Sponsor please?

Sigh I miss my babyboy alot. OI CHAN QING YUAN HURRY COME BACK LA! ):

Lotsa love,
Carmen Sarah

To the boy!

LOL! too bored in office. but anyway! oi the boy, you need to read this!

http://innocentserenity.tumblr.com/post/23272765946#notes

curious readers (esp girls), the title is: 25 WAYS TO LOVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND EVEN MORE. ok! go get your boys to read it! nowwww! hahaha!

Lotsa love,
Carmen Sarah

Punk vs. Clean-Cut

perfect example -->

Lotsa love,
Carmen Sarah

I'm gonna Marry The Night.

Honestly, if the Night was really a human, I would really marry him like what Lady Gaga sang. Don't you think it's such a serene environment to be in? With the night breeze gently brushing against your cheeks as the moon and stars shine down upon you.

A wish of mine is to escape to the countryside. The fields are never-ending, the mountain-snow are glistening in the sunlight, and when night falls, the stars shine so bright you get hypnotized. Just to escape the harsh reality of the city where everything is hustling and bustling. Rest is never enough because the moment you stop, you fall behind because everybody is rushing to climb far ahead.

I try to do things at a slower pace, but everyone else around me is rushing. I can't do my work in the office slowly because everything has a deadline, deadline, DEADLINE! It is honestly quite tiring for me but nobody actually has a choice, do they? Money don't fall from the sky. No matter how much people can try to convince you that money is the source of all evil, they still need the money. Those of strong faith that are often going on mission trips, different religions it may be, all live it up to they trust to give them funds for their trips. Funds = Money.

I wonder how the world would be like when everything just slows down. How would they feel? How would they react? Would they adapt easily, or will they throw a fit? I think I'll be the one who sits back and drinks her coffee. What about you? (:

Lotsa love,
Carmen Sarah

Another bored day in the office

Hey all! ^^ So I am actually lazing my time away in the office. There is a pile of  documents for me to sort out but I am toooo lazy! Sigh this is definitely the fault of the weather! I am sooo sleepy, and yet I have training later on at Kallang Netball Centre. Urgh it's freaking far okay!! At least I got Mel to accompany me. Sure got alot of things to whine and complain about. Gosh but I really am sleepy.

And omg, driving lessons are getting so expensive! I put in $300 into the account, only can help me book 3 lesson. -.- my pay of $1.2k monthly is not enough to cover my lifestyle! I need to get my driving over and done with! /:

Yes dear readers, this is a very nonsensical rant post because I am really bored in the office. HAHA sorrrrry! Kk I better head back to work (:

Lotsa love,
Carmen Sarah

Quick post!

Hey all! I'm gonna do a quick post before I take a nap and get ready to head out with the besties! And now I bet all of you are wondering why it's bestieS and not bestie. Because the group increased to 3! All of you know him ah, that Noah Yap with his Ah lian dance and typical auntie behaviour. Hahahaha.

Well, as you all know, I have been going through some personal troubles this week and my twitter is full of rants. For those genuinely concerned, thank you so much but don't worry, I will always be fine. Plus the besties were awesome as we chatted on the phone. Gosh I realized how much I miss having long phone calls. Hahah. So yea, can't wait to hang with them later! Oh and PartyCar's heading to Rebel/Zirca people! I do hope I'd get to party with you guys! So get your ass down later ^^ hahahah! Pictures will be up later (:

Alright nap time!

Lotsa love,
Carmen Sarah

We are all the same.

Lotsa love,
Carmen Sarah